When you have to buddy up to your mother and almost beg her to attend social functions with you so you won’t have to go alone you know you’ve hit a new low point in your life. I know this. I know that when you’re still in your 20’s (albeit your late 20’s) your social life should consist of more than your mother and Facebook…
Here I find myself. Out of new YouTube videos to watch, refreshing my Facebook tab every thirty seconds, wondering what happened to my social life…
I haven’t exactly had the most exciting social life over the past few years. My social life consisted of a short window of time where I packed a lifetime of social experiences into a span of four years. But for those four years I had a packed social calendar. I actually had to schedule in down time, so I could have a day or two to rest now and then. But not so much any more… Now the only social interactions I get are at work, online, and with my family.
I haven’t been on a date in over a year.
I haven’t gone out with friends since… umm… let’s just say that it’s been a while.
And while that may sound pretty pathetic (and in all honesty, it probably is), the truth is that it isn’t entirely my own fault. I had friends in town, they’ve just all moved away. I’ve tried to make new friends. I really, truly, honestly have. But the less social interactions I have the more my social anxiety flares up. And the more my social anxiety flares up, the more awkward and uncomfortable I get in new social situations and the less likely I am to attend. Which leads to my current life as a hermit who feels like crying when she’s in a crowded room. It’s an awful, self-perpetuating cycle that I am trying really hard to break out of.
So you know what, Internet? You’re going to help me. Whether you want to or not, whether you like it or not, you will help me. (And that doesn’t sound all creepy and rapey at all, does it?)
I’m thinking about starting a series of vlogs in addition to my short little write ups here. I mean, I already talk to myself so talking to a camera should be easy, right? And slightly less likely to get me labelled as crazy…
Anywho, keep an eye out for those… Coming up… Eventually….